Friday, April 20, 2012

Songs that Capture a Mood: “Walk 500 Miles”

Sometimes a song can perfectly capture a mood or frame of mind.  When you hear that song you can feel justified or encouraged or pumped up because someone out there knows exactly what you're going through.  For me, right now that song is Tim Barry’s “Walk 500 Miles” (video, lyrics).
If you're gonna leave then go now
If you're gonna leave then go now
Go on make your bed and don't take back you said
If you're gonna leave then go now
Go on walk 500 miles
Go on walk 500 miles
And as you take steps think back on what you did
All high on lust and denial
Those are the opening verses of the song .
I'm tired of being this tired
I'm tired of being this tired
Gone from growth to resent a fool without hope
But I won't be here when you get home
Yeah this house will be as empty as holes
Yeah the house will be as empty as holes
The sun may hit on the porch and the deck
But inside will be dark and be cold 
The third stanza kills me because I can’t tell you how many times I have felt that exact same way.  But it is the chorus that really hits home.
Lord I get so lonely
Like you wouldn't believe
But I'm lonelier here now with you next to me 
This is obviously a song born out of desperate loneliness.  To me it speaks of a loneliness that is so palpable and strangling that no matter how many people you’re around, all you feel is isolation.
Ain't but ten numbers on a phone
But I ain't talking no more
You're all right and I'm wrong you're above and I'm below
But I won't be here when you get home
Say how's it going out there on your own girl
How's it going out there on your own
Now that you can't get back in and what you want you can't get
Say how's it going out there on your own girl 
The song ends in the desperation of the chorus song with such heartache and pain.
Lord I get so lonely
Like you wouldn't believe
But I'm lonelier here now with you next to me
Lord I get so lonely
Like you wouldn't believe
But I'm lonelier here now with you next to me
I'm lonelier here now with you next to me 
I was listening to this song the other night while lying in bed and reading, the chorus resonating so loudly with me.  On the one hand, I relate this chorus to my job.  See I actually work for a good company and the work itself isn’t all that bad, but I often hate being at work.  I hate being there because I’m so lonely.  The few people that I know have different schedules or sit way off in other parts of the room so I rarely see them.  Plus the way that the job is situated and the environment isn’t always that conducive to meeting people.  On top of that, I haven’t really seen anyone that I would have much in common with.  Now I know that you can’t judge a book by it’s cover, but I’ve had pretty good luck over the years picking out people with similar interests (based on things like clothes, books that he/she may be carrying, accessories like purses and backpacks and what might be on them, etc.).  But not at this place.  I know of two, maybe three people there that have similar taste in music--one was in my training class, another struck up a conversation with me after checking out the pins on my backpack, and another that was a member of one of the local roller derby teams--and that is pretty much it.  There are a lot of people that have worked at this job for well over a decade so trying to integrate into that kind of culture isn’t always the easiest thing to do.  Granted it doesn’t help matters that I sit in the far back corner or that if they are letting people out of work because we’re dead I nearly always sign up, thus making me hardly ever present, but still…

Then there’s my personal life, which to be honest is in shambles and has been for a long time.  It was listening to this song that I realized that I probably suffer from chronic depression.  *sigh*

Here’s a fantastic live version of the song performed in St. Petersburg, FL.

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